The Law of Hero Culture – When heroes rise, systems collapse.
John once held the system together with duct tape and caffeine for sixteen straight days.
The deployment had failed three times. The migration script didn’t work. The vendor stopped answering calls. Two engineers were unresponsive and had given up.
John stayed. He rewrote the logic at 2 AM. He manually fixed what automation should have caught. He joined calls across four time zones explaining the same workaround to teams who should have shared documentation.
By day sixteen, the system was live.
The Boss called it “exceptional ownership.” The Strategist made it a case study. Mr. Bully drafted a press release.
John got a gift card and two days off.
No one asked why the system needed saving.
When the system needs saving every quarter, maybe it’s already broken.
From The Footnote Archives:
- 2022:
- John rescued one critical deployment.
- Outcome: Applause. Bonus. No process changes.
- 2023
- John rescued four critical deployments.
- Outcome: Promotion. Case study. No process changes.
- 2024:
- John rescued nine critical deployments (as of Q3).
- Outcome: Burnout. Resignation submitted.
The Boss: “We need to find our next John.”
Johnny noted: They never asked why they kept needing to find one.”
#NaturalLawsOfBullshit #HeroCulture #BossGames
Meet John’s Colleagues. They are here (& almost everywhere).
Disclaimer: The Footnote is a satire — an observation, not an accusation. If it feels uncomfortably accurate, that’s just coincidence. You’re simply not important enough to be targeted.
