The Law of Inflated Collaboration – Shared credit. Shared neglect.
Once a project started with one owner.
By week two, it had a “cross-functional steering committee.”
By week four, a “collaborative working group.”
By week six, an “extended stakeholder alliance.”
By week eight, seventeen people were “jointly accountable.”
By week ten, no one remembered who was actually responsible.
The Visionary proposed collaboration to dilute accountability.
The Diplomat proposed inclusion to avoid conflict.
The Vanisher proposed meetings to appear engaged.
The Fixer proposed coffee to endure the rest.
Email — The Vanisher to All:
“To ensure we’re capturing all perspectives and building true organizational alignment, I propose we expand the core team to include representatives from each function.
This will strengthen our collaborative foundation and ensure shared ownership of outcomes.”
Translation: If this fails, I want 20 witnesses to prove it wasn’t just me.
The project ended with a celebration of teamwork.
The result went missing.
Seventeen people shared credit for effort.
Zero people owned the outcome.
Johnny thought:
Collective ownership is the softest landing for failure.
Johnny’s Footnotes is a satirical instrument, infused with humour, for understanding organisational dysfunction, grounded in The Anatomy of Nonsense, also known as the Grand Unified Theory of Bullshit, finally documented so you no longer have to pretend it isn’t happening.
Meet John’s Colleagues. They are here (& almost everywhere).
Disclaimer: The Footnote is a satire — an observation, not an accusation. If it feels uncomfortably accurate, that’s just coincidence. You’re simply not important enough to be targeted.
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