Law of Time Zone Torture – The boss’s clock always wins.
Global collaboration exists.
Only one time zone matters.
From the Footnote Archives (partial record):
2019
- A global “quick sync” scheduled at 7:00 AM for the Boss.
- 2:00 AM elsewhere. Attendance praised. Fatigue unlabeled.
- A team member joined from the airport floor.
- The call ran over. Dedication noted in performance review.
- An invite marked optional.
- Absence followed by: “Did you have connectivity issues?”
2020
- Cameras mandated across five time zones.
- Silence interpreted as disengagement.
- A well-being check-in scheduled at midnight for half the team.
- Rotating time zones discussed.
- Never implemented.
- Several incidents went unrecorded.
- Fatigue generates no tickets.
2023
- Global town hall scheduled to “maximize leadership availability.”
- Apologies issued afterward.
- Scheduling unchanged.
2025
- AI scheduling tool optimized for leadership convenience.
- A regional team stopped attending live.
- They were labeled “not fully engaged.”
Johnny logged the pattern.
Convenience travels upward. Fatigue travels everywhere else.
Johnny’s Footnotes is a satirical instrument, infused with humour, for understanding organisational dysfunction, grounded in The Anatomy of Nonsense, also known as the Grand Unified Theory of Bullshit, finally documented so you no longer have to pretend it isn’t happening.
Meet John’s Colleagues. They are here (& almost everywhere).
Disclaimer: The Footnote is a satire — an observation, not an accusation. If it feels uncomfortably accurate, that’s just coincidence. You’re simply not important enough to be targeted.
Follow the Genesis of the Laws
